Regardless of your efforts, all you see around you is prosperity in the area you want to be in, but those holding the key don't share that passion. I refuse to be defeated! I refuse to give up! These battle calls are harder for me to get behind, when I feel my efforts are for nothing. However I have a handful of those around me who will shout those words for me when I no longer can't. In my despair I was led to Psalm 73. It is a Psalm by Asaph. In it he describes his inner struggle with seeing those around him prosper, even though they don't have God's Spirit in them.
When I got to verse 2 it made me drop to my knees. "But as for me, my feet had almost slipped; I had nearly lost my foothold." Here he was also at the end of his rope. Unable to deal with what he saw around him. He was so close to the cliff, and about to lose his foothold that he could see and feel the gravel rocks careening over the side. He wanted to give up on his calling. But then we see in verse 3 the reasoning and I feel the realization of why we are both on the cliff.
Psalm 73:3 "For I envied the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked."Envy! We both let envy creep into our hearts. We didn't realize it. We didn't set out on this course. It was just a by-product of our own passion to do His will. But it was our un-realization of how that Will should transpire.
He used a metaphor describing his heart compared to theirs: "My feet." Or in other words his own walk with God. He has almost lost confidence in God. He was right on the edge when he realized, it was his own walk, his own envy, his own lack of confidence. Not God, but HIM! Often when the perceptions of our heart are wrong, our feet are soon to follow our folly. Like walking on a sheet of ice, our attitudes can run away from us.
Have you ever wondered why some prosper in this world but have no respect for God our His ways? Has it ever grated on you that those who are trying to be obedient to God and do His will seem to not prosper compared to the world? Have you ever been passed over for promotions or job opportunities because of your convictions, or based solely on the type of personality you have and not your qualifications? Be careful, because envy will creep in very easily and will destroy you from the inside. Both Asaph and our eyes were fixed too much on one thing. We look at the present and forget the future.
Psalm 73:22-24 When my soul was embittered, when I was pricked in heart, I was brutish and ignorant; I was like a beast toward you. Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory. That is the future we should be focused on. This is the spiritual truth of this psalm: Envy left unchecked within our hearts leads to bitterness. He states a beautiful picture that only a poet can. He had almost fallen, and yet God always upheld him.
So I will continue on. I won't give up. But you have to remember to always look up, because looking side to side will always send you toward the cliff.
